The holidays are meant to be a time of joy, connection, and cherished memories, but for many, perfectionism and holiday mental health can quickly turn the season into a stressful experience. As we strive for the perfect meal, décor, and festive moments, the pressure can overwhelm us, stealing the joy that the holidays are meant to bring. If you struggle with perfectionism, you know how easily it can hijack your mental well-being during this busy time of year.
My Thanksgiving Perfectionism Story
Years ago, I hosted my first Thanksgiving for 20 relatives. Determined to impress, I took on every task myself, including baking homemade rolls from scratch. Not just any rolls—perfect rolls. I spent two full days kneading dough, monitoring yeast, and painstakingly shaping each roll.
When the big day arrived, I proudly placed the rolls on the table, expecting praise and gratitude. Instead, not a single person ate one. Everyone was too full from the turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing.
I was crushed. My effort had gone unnoticed, and instead of enjoying the holiday, I spent hours stewing in frustration. It wasn’t until later that I realized the problem wasn’t the rolls—it was my need for perfection. My fixation had turned what could have been a joyful experience into a stress-filled ordeal, proving how perfectionism and holiday mental health are deeply intertwined.
Why Perfectionism and Holiday Mental Health Don’t Mix
Perfectionism often stems from a desire to please others, prove ourselves, or avoid criticism. During the holidays, these feelings are magnified. We want everything to be magical, but that pressure can leave us overwhelmed, disconnected, and even resentful.
This stress can take a toll on your mental health, leading to burnout, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy. When we equate our worth with our ability to create a “perfect” holiday, we rob ourselves of the joy that the season is meant to bring.
Tips to Manage Perfectionism and Holiday Mental Health
To reclaim the joy of the season, it’s essential to address both perfectionism and its impact on your mental health. Here are three strategies to help:
1. Redefine Success
Instead of striving for flawlessness, focus on what really matters: connection, laughter, and meaningful moments. Looking back, no one in my family remembers the rolls—they remember the love and warmth of being together.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
Perfectionists tend to overdo it. Instead of tackling every task, prioritize what’s most important to you. Love baking? Make one or two favorite desserts. Not a fan of decorating? Keep it simple. Giving yourself permission to do less can ease the mental burden.
3. Practice Mindfulness
The holidays can easily become a blur of to-do lists. Slow down and stay present. Whether it’s savoring a quiet cup of cocoa or taking a walk to admire holiday lights, small mindful moments can help anchor you amidst the chaos.
Choosing Joy Over Perfection
The year after my Thanksgiving roll disaster, I made a change. I simplified my menu, asked family members to bring dishes, and let go of the need to control every detail. The result? A lighter mental load and a much more joyful holiday.
This holiday season, remember that it’s not about having the perfect meal or a picture-perfect home. It’s about sharing imperfect moments with the people you love and safeguarding your mental health along the way.
So, let’s make a pact: ditch perfectionism, embrace imperfection, and savor the joy of the season. After all, when it comes to perfectionism and holiday mental health, letting go is often the best gift we can give ourselves.
