Have you ever felt like your emotions are taking you for a ride on a roller coaster, like you’re stuck in a never-ending track of negative thoughts? If you’ve experienced trauma, especially complex trauma, this feeling might seem all too familiar. Trauma can act like a thief, sneaking in and hijacking your emotional compass. When that happens, it can leave you feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, and unsure of how to navigate your feelings and difficult situations. But here’s the good news: you can take back control.
How Trauma Affects Your Emotional Compass
When you go through trauma—especially relational trauma such as childhood abuse or neglect—it doesn’t just impact your mind; it impacts your entire nervous system. Your brain, specifically the amygdala (the part responsible for detecting threats), becomes hyper-vigilant, always on alert for danger, even when there’s none. This is why you might feel emotionally reactive or have an intense “fight, flight, or freeze” response to everyday situations.
In addition, trauma can disrupt your ability to identify what you’re feeling and why. Intense emotions may knock your brain’s ability to think, analyze, and reason completely offline. You might swing from feeling completely numb to suddenly overwhelmed with emotions, unsure of where they came from. This emotional confusion makes it hard to trust your internal compass, leaving you feeling lost.
Signs That Trauma Has Taken Control of Your Emotional Compass
1. Mood Swings: One moment you feel fine, the next you’re flooded with guilt, anger, or anxiety.
2. Emotional Numbness: Sometimes, it feels like your emotions have been turned off altogether.
3. Difficulty Trusting Your Feelings: You might doubt whether your emotions are “real” or valid.
4. Overreacting to Small Stressors: A seemingly minor issue, like an email or a missed call, can trigger a much larger emotional response than it normally would.
5. Feeling Disconnected: You might feel like you’re observing life from the outside, disconnected from your emotions and even from others.
Steps to Reclaim Your Emotional Compass
The good news is, while trauma can wreak havoc on your emotional regulation, there are steps you can take to reclaim control. Healing won’t happen overnight, but these practices can help you start feeling more grounded and in charge of your emotions.
1. Practice Mindfulness
Being mindful enables you to remain aware of your emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. It’s about staying present and noticing what you’re feeling in the moment, without judgment. Start by taking a few deep breaths and tuning into your body. Where do you feel tension? What emotions are bubbling up? The more you practice, the easier it becomes to recognize and understand your feelings without reacting impulsively.
2. Use Distress Tolerance Techniques
Trauma can make even small stresses feel unbearable. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) offers distress tolerance techniques, like grounding exercises or the “TIPP” method (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Relaxation). These tools can help you calm down when emotions become overwhelming.
3. Rebuild Your Emotional Vocabulary
Often, trauma leaves us struggling to name or even identify our emotions. One key strategy to rebuild your emotional compass is by expanding your emotional vocabulary. Spend time each day reflecting on what you’re feeling, and challenge yourself to name the emotions as specifically as possible. Are you anxious, or are you feeling fear or worry? The more specific you can be, the easier it is to understand and manage your feelings.
4. Set Emotional Boundaries
Trauma can blur the lines between your emotions and those of others. Reclaiming your emotional compass means learning to set healthy boundaries. Pay attention to when you’re feeling overwhelmed by someone else’s emotions. It’s okay to step back and protect your emotional space.
5. Seek Professional Help
Working with a trauma-informed therapist can make all the difference in untangling the impact of trauma on your emotions. Therapy can offer you a safe space to explore your emotional landscape, develop new coping strategies, and heal from the past.
Reclaiming Your Emotional Compass Is Possible
Living with the aftermath of trauma can feel like you’re navigating life with a broken compass, never quite sure which direction to go. But through mindfulness, emotional awareness, and therapy, you can start to recalibrate your emotional compass and start heading in the direction you want to go. You’ll slowly regain the ability to trust your feelings, respond more calmly to stress, and feel grounded in who you are.
Remember, healing is a journey. Be kind to yourself as you take the first steps to reclaiming your emotions and finding your way back to emotional balance. You are worthy of peace and healing, and you don’t have to go through it alone.
