About Therapy

Life has dealt you more than your share of body blows. And the hits just keep on coming…

But when you’re here…

The focus is on YOU: What you want… your dreams… your goals…

It’s not about what your partner wants for you… or what your boss wants… or your friends. And it’s definitely not what your parents think you need to work on.

The focus on you can be uncomfortable at first. You probably aren’t used to people asking about what you want or need.

You might have even resigned yourself to believing those things aren’t important – that no one cares… that no one wants to hear it.

Well, I care… and I want to know all about you.

After all, therapy doesn’t go anywhere without you.

I’ll help you embrace the uncomfortable and face your fears.

Together, we’ll boldly face the pain of the past and dare to dream of a different future without shame or fear. You might think others would run in the opposite direction if they knew you carried all that.

Realizing that may not be true is a huge step forward in therapy.

I’ll tell you another achievement in therapy…

It’s when you learn to deal with a bad situation without making it worse:

How to get laid off from your job and not go on a bender…

How to take those feelings of anger, fear, and confusion and deal with it…

How to move through your feelings, not around them…

Our work together will help you feel in control over your emotions… rather than feeling your emotions are controlling you.

This might surprise you…

But you don’t have to have all of the answers. It’s okay to feel like a mess.

It’s okay to feel like your problems are a bunch of necklaces and bracelets thrown in a drawer, so hopelessly tangled that it’s hard to know where to start. I know how overwhelming that can be. It makes you want to slam the drawer shut and forget all about it. That’s what many people do.

But, as you know, it’s not gone. And you may not have made the mess, but you have to clean it up anyway – for your own sake.

Let’s start small, taking on that big ball of tangles one strand at a time. Slowly taking apart a snarled ball of jewelry lets you discover all the beautiful jewelry you own but could never really wear.

This is when you start to believe that you can do it – that you can steer your ship where you want to go and feel good about it.

And if you’re caught up on this question, don’t be.

The question, of course, is, “WHY???”

“Why did this happen to me?”

“Why can’t I just forget it?”

“Why did I _____ (fill in the blank: binge, cheat, lash out at my co-worker…)?”

“Why is this still bothering me 20 years later?”

Spoiler alert: You don’t have to know the “why” to create the life you want. Sometimes, sure, it may be helpful to understand what put certain events into motion so you can better understand patterns and make different choices in the future.

But most of the time, you can find a solution without knowing the WHY.

One more thing: It’s not all your fault.

Some clients amaze me with their ability to somehow, some way, make almost everything ALL their fault. Someone must be to blame!!

Somehow, they weren’t enough – not smart enough, not pretty enough, or not talented enough.

Or they were TOO MUCH: too fat, too thin, too loud, too quiet, too dumb, or too smart for their own good.

It’s pretty common among clients who have experienced trauma to take responsibility for things that they had no control over. It’s hard to see the myriad things they had absolutely no control over – even things they had nothing to do with.

When you can accept responsibility and be accountable for YOUR behavior (not everyone else’s), the fog will lift, and you’ll turn a corner.

You know “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” right?

Well, like Goldilocks, you’re not too much or not enough. You’re just right.

I want to help you see this yourself – to have compassion for ALL of you – even the parts you might not like very much right now.

I can’t wait to meet you!

Let’s start your journey today by scheduling your free phone consultation: (315) 520-8234.